stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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