You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
