Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
