if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
