well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
