dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
