Dual....:-)
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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