I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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