I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
