He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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