I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
