This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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