my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize