Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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