girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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