I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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