I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
