On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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