so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
