Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
