I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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