Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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