Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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