i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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