It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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