living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
