I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize