The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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