I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize