I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
