im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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