Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
