whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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