Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
