If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
