marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
