i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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