So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
