I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize