That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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