Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think i have two assholes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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