I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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