he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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