if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
