Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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