ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So much Jack, so little girl.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
