70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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