she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
two words...techno handjob
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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