Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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