what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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