Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
