Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
