Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
