Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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