There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
