i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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