You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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