was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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