I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
