My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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